A mosaic in the old city of Bethlehem near the shepherd’s fields.
Psalm 78:38-39 NIV
Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities
and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.
He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return.
This comes at the close of a long narrative describing just how fickle the people of Israel were in their trust (or mistrust) of God. I feel as fickle as them at times. They witnessed countless miracles and still struggled with doubt and disloyalty. They’d call out to Him when trouble came, but forget Him when things were going well. They questioned His provision, even when they’d witnessed water from a rock, and bread and meat from the heavens. They lived fearful and futile lives.
“Yet”. Even in the face of their waywardness, God was merciful and forgiving. He relented. He held back the full expression of His displeasure and anger. He remembered just how frail and feeble they were. He did not expect more from them than they were able to deliver.
In my own life, I have felt my own waywardness and shakey faith. Where God’s faithfulness is measurelessly great, mine seems fleeting as a morning mist. I sometimes wonder when I will live a faithfully fruitful life. I feel so easily sidetracked by anxieties, distractions and fears. I don’t like this about myself. I feel I disappoint You like the Israelites in this psalm.
Father, do you see and hear my true heart that feels buried underneath my wayward emotions and desires? Can You hear that I long most for You alone? Do You see something in me that really is worthy of redeeming? Do You see in me a reflection, however faint, of Yourself?
Grant me a new heart, one made of flesh and sensitive to You and to others. Grant me a new mind, renewed to think thoughts after You. Grant me a will strongly devoted to and focused on You, able to stay with the good works You’ve prepared ahead for me to engage and work on. Grant me the emotional and spiritual energy and stamina I need to actually work in a sustained and fruitful way on my writing. Apart from You, I can’t do this. This book only works with You. I know that, and I forget that. Grant that Your Spirit would quiet my mind and heart with Your love. Open my ears to hear and my eyes to see what You have for me in this day.
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