A while back, Psalm 43 was a divine appointment for me in morning prayer.
Psalm 43 (TNIV)
1 Vindicate me, my God,
and plead my cause
against an unfaithful nation.
Rescue me from those who are
deceitful and wicked.
2 You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?
At times I have felt rejected by God. Emphasis on felt. This psalm is a true prayer of the heart, even if it isn’t true of God’s posture towards me. I find myself more aware of my shortcomings than God’s mercy. I feel sadness and sorrow in my heart for my wrong-doings. I feel the oppression of my enemy’s finger pointing. Why? It’s a question I feel deep within me.
3 Send me your light and your faithful care,
let them lead me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.
I need Your initiative, Lord. I need You to send Your light to expose what is real and true here in me. I need Your faithful care to lead me (rather than being paralyzed by a feeling of being abandoned). I need Your light and Your faithful care to bring me to a place of deeper dwelling with You.
4 Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God.
It is the initiative of God that will bring me with a peaceful, joyful heart to the place where I might offer myself to You. I want to experience You as my joy and my delight. I want to be freed from the depression and heaviness that burdens me. I want to know the lightness of heart that is a fruit of Your sustaining, merciful presence in me.
5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
This is the kind of talking to myself that need more of in my life. Too often I rehearse negative messages. I need to ask myself why I let myself be weighed down by what God longs to forgive and put away from me. He takes no pleasure in holding my failures and offenses in mind–His or mine. When I find downcast and disturbing thoughts and feelings in me, I can remind myself that my hope here is in God Himself. I will again praise Him. I will know joy and gratitude. He will save me.
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